Thirteen Bookstore People I Hate
1. Mr. No-Kleenex - Mr. No-Kleenex sniffles away, often very loudly, oblivious to his noisy nose in the bookstore quiet.
2. The Genre Snubber - This bookstore person has a set idea of what genres are acceptable and which aren’t. Go into the unacceptable genre sections and be prepared for dirty/snooty looks.
3. Overeager Book Store Worker - “Can I help you?” has gone from a question to a mantra for this person. This person doesn’t understand the beauty of wandering around in a bookstore. Alone.
4. The Genre Fanatic - Somewhat the opposite of the genre snubber, the genre fanatic loves his/her chosen genre…and won’t hesitate to tell you how much…at length.
5. The Space Invader - Initially viewed as harmless, the space invader will slowly move into your section, then your territory, and then your personal space. It is not yet known why this species behaves this way.
6. The Snobby Cashier - Cousin to the genre snubber, the snobby cashier makes to effort to hide just exactly what s/he thinks of your selections.
7. Finger Lickers - This strange species insists on licking their fingers before turning pages in books they don’t own…
8. The Super Browser - This person will work his/her way through the store once, twice, and probably a third time. Don’t be surprised to run into this person (sometimes literally) several times during your own browsing.
9. Just-Here-To-Get-Paid Worker - Apparently never having read a book in his/her life, this species doesn’t seem to belong in a bookstore. And yet they exist…
10. Oblivious Parent - The baby may be crying or the children causing a mess, but oblivious parent will continue browsing despite the disturbance to everyone else.
11. Mobile Phone People - I don’t think anyone needs a description for this one.
12. Bubble Gum Worker - Cousin to just-here-to-get-paid, bubble gum worker doesn’t know about books, doesn’t know where anything is, and doesn’t know how the coffee machine works.
13. Fanboys/girls - Sibling to the genre fanatic, this species (usually traveling in packs) hones in one one book or series and will often try to engage you in conversations about the glory of said book or series.
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April 24th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I have met them all, yep.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
They can come in plague proportions.
June 14th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Personally, my favorites are the invisible people who enjoy leaving a half-empty cup of coffee on the shelf, where the coffee slowly eats through the paper of the cup and gets into the books.
I also like Flirty Cashier. She likes to check you out slowly and possibly read the back cover of one or two of your books thoughtfully while the combined hate of the people in line behind you threatens to crush you beneath its seething weight.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Ack! The invisibles should definitely be on my list. As fot the Flirty Cashier, I have never encountered her, but I’ll take your word for it (and hope I never encounter him/her in the future).